


Needing Time

by Mystical_Light6



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherhood, Castiel in the Bunker, Coping, Coping Mechanisms, Demon Dean Winchester, Gen, Grief, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, In the Veil, Learning curve, Men of Letters Bunker, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post 9x23, Self Harm, Spoilers, Trigger Warning - Self harm, after season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_Light6/pseuds/Mystical_Light6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short vignettes post 'Do You Believe in Miracles?' Next - Sam and Dean and the stars</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awakened

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, it's actors, nor have any say in what goes into the show other than my viewership. I am making absolutely no money for having written this nor future pieces.

After their short conversation, when Crowley vanished with a wink, Sam expected something to happen. What he didn't expect, was this.

Dean was still lying on his bed, his black eyes simply staring up at the ceiling above him.

This was worse than a nightmare.

"Dean?" Sam whispered, coming in closer.

His brother's mouth moved but no words came out. For one horrible second, Sam wondered if his brother would be able to even speak at all. He'd been dead as recently as an hour ago so...

" _-my._ "

Dean was whispering something, his throat convulsing around words Sam could barely hear. Sam took the seat that unknowingly Crowley had recently vacated and took Dean's hand into his own. Slowly, he watched Dean turn his head to him and blink. His eyes had thankfully returned to normal but when he blinked a second time, they were back to black.

" _Sam-my,_ " he finally whispered, struggled, and this time Sam heard him. He heard him and felt like he wanted collapse. Whether in relief or denial he wasn’t sure.

Tears escaped from both of their eyes but Sam didn't care. He drew himself up, out of the chair and pulled his brother into a tight hug and began whispering a litany of sorries to him.

After a minute, Dean brought his hand up and began patting Sam on the back, whispering that it was okay and then he too began to apologize for everything that had led to him taking the mark; for renting out Sam's body to a douchebag, for his alcoholism, for his crippling fear of being alone.

Before long, both brothers simply reveled in the feeling of being together again and all thoughts of where to go next were put to the side for just the one night. Thanks to Crowley, at least for now they had a little time.


	2. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finds out

Castiel returned to earth a day and a half later. He didn't know what to expect from Sam as he knocked on the Bunker's door but, as he waited, he figured it was best to offer his sympathy and ask if there was anything that he could do to help. Whether it be to help dig a grave or just stick around for a few days to make sure the younger Winchester didn't do anything too reckless, Castiel was ready, willing and able.

To have Dean be the one to answer the door, that was something unexpected. Very unexpected. At least, he thought it was Dean. His angelic sense might've been dwindling but even he wasn't stupid enough to not be suspicious. Whatever it was, it was wearing Dean’s skin fairly convincingly for an abominable, demonic monster.  

"Hey, Cas. So good to see you, Buddy," Dean said (roared) and the angel didn't know if he wanted to hug the man or stab him. "Sammy, Cas is here," "Dean" called (screeched) over his shoulder.

Castiel waited as the younger Winchester loudly stamped up the stairs and when he came into view, carefully, the boy smiled.

"Cas, come on down. We need to talk."

Castiel raised an eyebrow and said, trying to hide his sadness, “You think?”

Both brothers disappeared back down the stairs and Castiel made sure to look about their immediate vicinity before following them. They arrived in the map table room and immediately Castiel raised his hand to Dean's forehead and Dean stiffened and stared back at him. Sam stared between them as, slow and stiffly (and definitely against his will) Castiel's hand lowered back to his side.

Glaring, Castiel asked with no small amount of confusion, "How did you do that?"

"I-I don't really know. Sorry, Cas," Dean responded (whispered), raising his hands and staring at them with wonder.

It was at that moment, with that look of utter fear and defeat that Castiel could really see the Dean he'd come to know rise to the surface. He might've been wearing the face of a mighty demon but he was still at the same time Dean Winchester, hunter and friend. Not taking his eyes off of Dean and taking an empty seat at the giant map, Castiel brought his hands together and said, "Tell me what happened."

Sam looked at Dean and Dean looked back at him. Together, as one, they both sat down across from him and the three of them talked until well into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading. Next time - The failing grace


	3. Fading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' grace is fading quickly

For the first time in his life, Dean could finally see what really lurked behind that familiar face he'd gotten to know for the last six years. Sort of. He couldn't actually see what made an angel an angel exactly but there was definitely a lot of light coming from the five foot eleven inch guy and damn but it was bright. Yet somehow...somehow Dean knew that the light wasn't as bright as it should have been. A full-powered angel should’ve been able to probably blind him.

Sam was already gone for the night in his bedroom so that left the two of them, angel and demon, in front of the television watching some kind of infomercial about skin care or something girly. Not a good one like the Magic Bullet or the Ninja. Something involving food.

Cas was staring at it like it was the truth behind the universe when he slowly turned to look at Dean and said, "Your staring is very off putting."

"Well, now you know what it feels like," Dean murmured, trying his best to get comfortable on the couch.

Castiel continued to watch him for several more minutes before he pushed the 'mute' button and turned to face Dean fully.

"What is wrong?" the angel asked.

"Nothing," Dean replied immediately, looking back at the television, just in time to see a model talking about how wonderfully soft her skin is now. At least that's what it looked like her lips were saying.

"Cas," he finally asked, "are you okay?"

The angel stiffened and tried to look away but couldn't find it in himself to lie. "I am...coping."

"You're coping?"

"Yes. Given the circumstances...."

"Circumstances?"

"I know that I have but a short time left to -"

"Hang on." Dean held up his hand and Castiel immediately stopped mid word. It took him a minute but, in his fear, Dean used his abilities again. After realizing it he stopped himself and allowed Cas to talk again.

"The grace."

"The stolen one?" Dean questioned.

Castiel looked down at his hands and scratched at his forehead. "It is almost running out and I....I didn't want..."

"You didn't want to worry me. Damn it, Cas."

Neither man said anything for a time.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"No."

"Yes," another voice said.

They turned to see Sam standing in the doorway with some big-assed, ancient looking syringe in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - Sam isn't handling things well


	4. Distress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is trying

Cas took up residence in one of the spare bedrooms to sleep the extraction off. Dean was at the moment in his own room doing whatever. Sam though...Sam was hanging on by a thinning thread. Sitting in the library, he went through every book and bit of internet research he’d conducted thus far. Nothing looked viable yet. Nothing would help Dean.

Nothing would help Dean because his brother was now a demon. His _brother_ was a demon. He didn't like what the blade was doing to him. No, scratch that, he was terrified. He didn’t like the feeling that the blade was giving him and now, now they were stuck. And his brother was…

Well, there was one thing that Sam could do.

He looked up and over to where Kevin’s handwritten notes from last year were staring him in the face. The third trial: curing a demon. Curing Dean would mean closing hell. Also (inevitably) it would mean his own death. There were days still when the trials came to his mind, when his body would phantomlike remember the torture that he put it through when they tried to close hell before.

Sam knew, he _knew_ , that Dean would never forgive him if he tried to do it all over again. Even for him. Pushing it to the side for now, Sam returned to the books and read until his eyes glazed over and he fell asleep in his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - Dean saw the Veil


	5. Shroud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean sees the Veil

The veil was horrible sight to behold. The souls of so many were all staring at him as he appeared on their plane of existence. Weeks later, the sight still haunted him and he didn't know how to stop it from appearing every time he closed his eyes to sleep.

Not that he needed to sleep anymore. It would've been easier to go without but, God help him, he didn't want to. Sleep meant that he wasn't...what he was. That he wasn't, okay, technically "dead".

Even the few times he left the Bunker though, he'd just turn a corner and there they were. Souls. Faces. People looking at him. Many recoiling at the mere sight of him. So monstrous. So inhuman. So far away from what he once was. What they once were.

One afternoon, out of the blue, Dean asked Cas about the veil.

"What's going to happen to all of them?"

The tired angel looked up from his PBJ sandwich and swallowed. It took him a minute to answer but he crossed his arms on the table and said with his own spin on it, "The angels are working on it. They have portals to use for now and, without the tablet or a prophet...well, it's going to take time, Dean, but the souls will slowly return to where they truly belong. Don’t worry about it."

For now it was a comfort to Dean. It would be okay. He just hoped that, one day, he'd find his way to where he truly belonged too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - What can stop him?


	6. Indestructible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can't die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - Self-harming 
> 
> Reader discretion advised

The thought came to Dean out of nowhere on one simple, boring afternoon.

"I can't die," he announced, right smack-dab in the middle of lunch.

Chewing around his grilled cheese sandwich, Sam stared at his brother uncomprehendingly. "What?"

"He is a Knight of Hell," Castiel explained, going into professor mode and putting down his own triangle of food. "The Knights were created to be the most powerful demons to ever exist. Practically immortal, really. You told me that you had Abaddon captured for a time though?"

"Sort of."

"Meaning?"

Sam and Dean shared a look. "We shot her with a bullet carved with a devil's trap and then..."

At the brothers’ pause, he asked, "What?"

"We sort of cut her into pieces and buried her."

Castiel stared hard at the brothers for a few minutes. He finally shrugged his shoulders and returned to his sandwich.

"What? That doesn't surprise you?"

"Honestly? No, not really."

"Thanks, Cas," Dean said, leaning back in his seat.

Dean still wanted to test out his theory though. Waiting until the others were asleep a few nights later, Dean snuck out of his room and into their weapons lockup to find anything to test himself with. The first thing he grabbed was a regular machete. Looking right and left, Dean held onto the handle of the large knife and stabbed himself right in the stomach. He winced at the initial impact but felt nothing before removing it and trying another weapon. As the night wore on, Dean became more and more depressed after every stab wound and gunshot shell.

"Dean?"

In hindsight, the gun probably wasn't the best idea. The walls might've been mostly soundproof but not totally, especially when your brother asleep was in the room next door. Especially when he tried using ‘The Colt’. Dean dropped the gun and ran out of the room before Sam could open his mouth again and was back into his bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.  He might be practically immortal, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give his brother another reason to be depressed. There was enough of that going around as it was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you continuing to reading this. Please, send any more ideas for things my way. I'm thinking about going a little darker with future pieces of this but not quite sure how much. Have a good day. 
> 
> Next - Sam and Cas talk


	7. Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas talk in the middle of the night

Castiel heard the tell-tale sound of someone closing a door. He had only just laid down for the night, tiring his eyes out with a book (something simple he’d learned in his sojourn as a human). His room was in the direct center of the hallway and he couldn't exactly tell which room it was, Sam's or Dean's. The angel debated with himself before getting out from under the covers and locating whomever it was so as to settle his own soul at the very least.

Castiel stalked down the hallway and came upon the library where Sam was busily pouring himself a cup of alcohol. The boy turned and stopped before his lips touched the glass. He lowered his arm just slightly and commented, "Didn't know you were up, Cas."

"I had only just laid down."

Sam looked behind himself and then pointed backwards. "Want some?"

Castiel sighed. "I am a celestial being, Sam."

"So, is that a no?"

There was a pause between them that barely lasted for a minute.

"Yes, I would like some alcohol," Castiel muttered, feeling all of ten inches tall.

Sam poured a second cup and Castiel walked over and took it from him. He clinked his glass against Sam's and together they drank until the cups were empty. The burn was both pleasant and eye-opening.

"Can't sleep?" Sam asked, grabbing the bottle and pouring more into his own cup.

"I was reading and heard a door opening."

Castiel extended his own glass and Sam poured some more for him too. Together they walked to the map table and sat side-by-side, drinking at intervals and remaining quiet. Sam was the first to break the silence.

"Dean hasn't touched alcohol since..."

"I'd noticed," Castiel said, running his finger along the rim of the cup and leaning with his other hand under his cheek.

"I know he still looks and acts the same, Cas," Sam said, turning to his friend, "but ...but how do I know..."

Castiel sighed. This seemed like a conversation, an event that kept happening around the three of them. Everything would be fine for a time until it wasn't. It was a pattern. It was never ending. How he longed on certain dark days for the days of simple obedience. Cas didn't know what to say about it anymore. Yes, Dean acted the same as he always had. Yes, he was a good man and though he hadn't said anything about it, could still in the second after blinking see Dean's soul and though darkened it was still brighter than most. It was darkening by the days though. It was only just a matter of time.

"We just need to keep watching him, Sam. We need to watch him and strike when he is no longer himself."

Sam sighed and then drank the rest of his drink. He got up from his seat and gave Castiel a smack on the back before stalking out of the room and back into his own. Castiel then sighed and continued drinking from his own cup. When there was no longer any alcohol left, he too left his cup behind and got up to return to his room. He wondered what it was Dean was doing in his own room, right now. He could be resting. He could also be doing any number of things. Cas just wondered how much time the three of them had left before this little time out ended and they needed to deal with bigger things.

His only hope was that they had some more time before things got to the point of no return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just clear up something for a minute - when I say that Sam thinks that he needs to do the cure and then he dies, that is what the characters think. I'm just taking things on a natural progression here and it hasn't been established in 'verse from their pov that Sam wouldn't die trying to cure his brother. It's not something that has been talked about in depth yet. 
> 
> I personally don't believe it either. I just think that that's what Sam still thinks. 
> 
> Next time - stars


	8. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean and the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be the last one for now. There might be more but right now I kind of want to concentrate on other things. Thank you for reading up to this point. Enjoy.

Sam searched the Bunker from top to bottom and still he couldn’t find his brother anywhere within. He stopped by Cas’ room to ask if he'd heard anything but, one peek at the angel asleep on his bed and he can't find it in himself to wake him. The grace extraction took more than enough out of him and, until they find a true cure-all, it's living as a half-fallen angel, sort of human again for the time being.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" comes a faint voice from on high.

Sam walks back into the main room and looks up to see that the entrance to the Bunker is open. He goes up the stairs and walks outside and turns. There’s Dean, lying with his back on the ground, staring up at the sky. Up at the stars. Dean shifts slightly and pats the ground next to him, inviting Sam to come join him. Sam looks back at the open door before sitting down beside his brother and then laying back himself. There is an open bottle of whisky that Dean hands to him. Sam takes a swig and hands it back.

"Beautiful night," Dean said.

"Yeah," Sam answered.

Words didn't need to be exchanged, just comfort. Just the fact that, for the first time in a long while, things could technically be classified as okay. His brother might be a demon and he might not have any way of knowing how to help him. A fallen angel was sleeping away indoors. Everything was okay for the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time out to read this. More to come. Next up, Cas finds out.


End file.
